Don't Curse the Nurse!

Sharing support with stories & humor

Oh, what’s a girl to do?

on July 8, 2013

A week or two ago, I got another marriage proposal. That makes four this year. But then, this guy was coming out of a Propofol induced state, so I won’t count it. The other three, well, one was thirty minutes after gallstone removal – I’d probably propose to someone after having that done too. The other two, they were just creepy, and they occurred on the same day. Here’s what happened.

It was early spring. Trees were no longer bare. Flowers were blooming.  And it was colonoscopy day in the Endo department. I mean you would have thought we were having a Groupon special. One after another, patients came dragging in with that I am miserable and hungry after my two day prep look.  Women had a little more hopeful look. A potential two pound weight loss, even if it meant half the night in the bathroom, is never a bad thing.

First thing in the morning, I met potential husband #1. My coworkers met him at the same time as I, but hung back until he was in bed. Then, we all swarmed him like the eager nurses we are. We put the monitors on, started the IV, chart, ask questions, get him a warm blanket. O.K, he was the first patient there. The swarming slowed down when doctors showed up to start the day. Then, it was just me and potential husband #1.

He was somewhere around 65 with a handlebar moustache and shockingly green eyes. Although I like green eyes, I really really want someone young enough to go rock climbing with, so…when he asked me if I was single, I just mumbled. At work you can’t use the same snappy answers you reserve for unwanted advances at restaurants and nightclubs. Then he told me he had half a million in the bank and a big boat. I have a few coworkers that, if they had overheard this, would have gone on and on later about my friend and his “big boat”.  Right before he was taken back for his test, he grabbed my hand and said in earnest, ‘I’d like to call you after this. We should be together. We’d make a good pair.”

I watched the back of his head get smaller and smaller as he rolled down the hall and wondered if maybe someone in the procedure room would like a break in about forty-five minutes.

 The second proposal was more direct. The guy was younger, wore gold chains to match his hospital gown, and said, mind you, as I was starting his IV, “Look at your hand there. You could be my Beyonce.” Then he started singing “Let me put a ring on it.” The singing stopped when his girlfriend walked from around the corner and sat in the chair on the other side of the stretcher. She glared at me as if I had climbed up on the stretcher with him. Anyway… I finished taping the IV, and hid behind the computer screen until he was taken back.

**************************

People are nervous. I know that. And marriage proposals, they’re nice. But, I’ve had to now add to the deal breaker list:

I won’t say yes to anyone who’s taken a Suprep colon cleanse within 48 hours : )


4 responses to “Oh, what’s a girl to do?

  1. Sachi says:

    Hahaha! These are really amusing anecdotes 🙂

  2. b4thirty8 says:

    Yes, my love life is amusing : )

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