Don't Curse the Nurse!

Sharing support with stories & humor

Are They Ready?

on October 2, 2014

eyebrowWhen you are having surgery, all jewelry has to come off. Yes, all of it.
Recently I felt for a recent widow undergoing a gallbladder surgery and made her the exception—put surgical tape over the gold bracelet on her delicate wrist. Through tears she had choked out that it used to be her husband’s. I had to bend.
It was a no go.
My manager came back from the OR theatre thirty minutes later, bracelet in a clear bag, dangling from her fingertips, a perturbed look on her face as she passed me.
Fast forward one week.
There was just something about him. Tattoo’s. No biggy. Everyone seems to have them. His handlebar moustache — it was a little corny for my taste, but hey, to each his own. Then my instincts told me he might not be quite ready for surgery, hmm…
Consents signed – check
History completed – check
Pre-op meds hung and ready – check
IV started – check
Anesthesia interview done – check

“Sir, you need to have all jewelry off, and that includes piercings. They used electrical equipment in the suites.”
He raised his eyebrows and immediately dropped one hand down to the V in the blankets.
“Oh, then this thing kind of needs to come out.”
I’m not that naïve; I knew what he was talking about.
“I’ll draw the curtain for a moment.” Just my luck, he cleared his throat and asked me to come in.”
“Miss, with this IV in my hand, I can’t take the piercing out.”
He was very nonchalant about it. I was too until I realized a relaxed “member” doesn’t stay still when you are trying to unscrew, excuse the pun, a miniature sized barbell.
It took another nurse, a surgical tool, and a concerted effort to keep a straight face in order to get that thing off his thing.
Now he was ready.

4 responses to “Are They Ready?

  1. Victo Dolore says:

    Awesome! That takes some balls…

  2. b4thirty8 says:

    Snort! Yes, that’s actually what I did when I read that last one. The lady with the gold bracelet–hey, I’m with you. Sometimes there have to be exceptions.

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