Don't Curse the Nurse!

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I Pulled the Trigger Then I Wanted to Cry

on December 20, 2015

gun-range-targetWriting a post right around Christmas about learning how to shoot a gun, weird, but I can say it because I’m the one who wrote it. I feel compelled to do a follow up because it was a first for me and some of the feelings I experienced were unexpected.

I loved the fact that this group “bonding experience” involved, no, demanded no dressing up. Anyone who came in heels and dangling jewelry would have been the recipient of some snickering. Going to the range meant that there were no worries about what to wear unless you were not in possession of a pair of jeans and sneakers.  And, it eliminated that thing that all us women do — that is, make quiet comparisons between our grooming aka “dressing up” skills.”

Meeting two educators, one anesthesiologist, and three other nurses, on a week night at 6:30 pm for a gun class was surreal to say the least. That feeling passed when I was standing in the booth, walls on each side, and a target twenty-five feet away. We were instructed on two guns; a revolver and a 22 semi-automatic.

I took in the much muffled sound of my coworkers several feet behind me and the white painted press wood on each side of me. The booth was similar to a voting booth. My target looked close. My instructor stood by while I put the bullets in the chamber. Over exaggerating my finger placement to ensure safety, I then took three breaths before pulling the trigger. When I did, I felt my heart beat a little more pronounced and I immediately put the gun down in front of me.

I wanted to cry and felt the urge to leave the gun there. I know what guns do and at that moment it didn’t feel like a “bonding” thing. I felt alone and scared.

 This is for fun.

 It’s just a new experience.

 People do actually have guns for safety.

People are dangerous, some more dangerous than guns.

My instructor came forward and reminded me to center the sights for a better chance of getting closer to a bullseye. Her words helped me refocus on an instinct I am familiar with, the desire to be good at what I am doing.

I got at least ten in the red center mark.

We all cheered each other on as we compared our paper targets in our hands and decided the next thing we should do is take a self-defense class together.

I like where this is going.


13 responses to “I Pulled the Trigger Then I Wanted to Cry

  1. I remember my first time pulling a trigger. Navy bootcamp, ah how cold it felt. The temperature in the room didn’t change, but when I shot a round off it almost felt like it dropped five degrees. It’s a very surreal experience. Thanks for sharing!

  2. DM says:

    Wife and I took an afternoon class about a year ago @ a gun store/ shooting range. I had the same feelings (sureal) as she and I sat with about 15 other people. Most of us were in about the same level of understanding (ie. very little) I did hunt a little growing up, so shooting a gun is not as foreign to me as her. When it came time to do some simulator training, now that was definitely an experience. Gave me a whole new respect/ healthy fear in the event I would ever decide to start packing. Things happen so much more quickly in real life than I realized. Anyway, it was a rush. Glad you posted an update on your groups bonding time.

  3. jsneese62 says:

    I can understand your urge to cry I wanted to as well the first time I shot a gun. Over the years though I have come to realize that yes like you said there are those that are more dangerous than guns in this world and that criminals do not pay attention to gun laws which gun lobbyists do not seem to understand. I am glad you became more comfortable and that you had an instructor that realized that you were very nervous after your first shot and stepped in to reassure you as they are suppose to do. I hope your Christmas was good despite being on call. Ours was quiet just the two of us and our three brat cats just the way we wanted it to be.

    • Susan says:

      My daughter is temporarily living with me and she brought a 1 year old cat named Baxter with her. I didn’t realize what little stinkers cats are! They really like to stir up trouble. I’ll be just sitting, reading, minding my own business, and Baxter sneaks up to the side of the couch, stretches his paw up, and starts batting at my elbow! He is pulling the leaves, one by one, off my plants, but I checked to make sure they are not poisonous to him, so, oh well, I’ll buy new ones when the two make their move to New York!

      • jsneese62 says:

        I completely understand we have 3 cats ranging age from 24 year to 4 years old. One female and two males and they are stinkers. Our youngest Oscar will pat us on the arm or leg when he wants to be petted. Our oldest Ozzie now mostly sleeps since is very elderly, and Lil Bit who is 9 years old is in the middle activity wise. She saved my life when I contracted pneumonia and Sepsis in June it was the middle of the night my boyfriend was at work and I kept trying to pass out and whenever I slumped over on the sofa she would jump on me and scream in my face if that didn’t work sunk her claws in me causing pain until I would sit up and try to push her away. She did that for about 3 hours until my boyfriend came home and took me to the ER so she is rather special to me. Yes plants can be replaced though it might be that is will bounce back once Baxter moves out. Oh funny years ago my sister was going to name her Siam else kitten Baxter, but my daughter then 2 years old couldn’t say Baxter properly and so it came sound a lot like another word so his named had to be changed lol.

  4. I like where it is going, too. Have fun with it!

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