Don't Curse the Nurse!

Sharing support with stories & humor

Instant Weight Loss

on January 23, 2017

So I leave the dentist, stop for gas, grab a Gatorade, and three minutes later I’ve discovered the secret for fast weight loss…

Lidocaine.

To be more specific, Lidocaine injected into either your right or left buccal sac ( cheek for you non-medical people).

I had twisted off the cap to  the bottle and was looking forward to the orangey taste of my potassium loaded drink. Lifting it slightly higher than chin level, but not too high that I couldn’t  see the road ahead of me, I puckered my lips. Or at  least I thought I had.

As I placed the plastic rim against my mouth and realized I couldn’t contract the muscles on the right side of my face, there was a split second debate going on in my head: Do I dare take a sip or not ? Am I going to dribble liquid down my shirt?  I pushed the lip of the bottle harder against my mouth. Nope. No feeling at all . Like a baby squirrel, I sucked a few drops from the left side of my mouth.

I put the drink down.

I looked mournfully over at the baked chips I picked up just before paying for the gas. They probably wouldn’t taste good being as the right side of my tongue was also numb. I couldn’t roll the sour cream powdered flavoring around in my mouth.

I whimpered a little. The 460 calories sat there while I drove on.

Damn cavity !

The scale better be half a pound lighter in the morning.


16 responses to “Instant Weight Loss

  1. D says:

    This is hysterical but true! I also hate the rubbery feeling on your skin.

  2. Jim says:

    Ha ha! that was me last week when my dentist put a temporary crown in my mouth. of course I was drooling all over myself which I’m sure looked incredibly seductive. not.

  3. DM says:

    sorry..but I’m thinking there are like 3200 calories in a pound..so you only get credit for 1/6 of a pound….if it makes you feel any better, I discovered a bag of cookies my wife had stashed in the freezer last night…oh were they good. I ate the whole bag. (it said 3 cookies = 180 calories) ….I decided not to count how many I eventually ate…hoping the denial would keep the calories from sticking.

    • BETH says:

      LOL I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks this way. However, sweets are not my real temptation. It is the salty fries and such.

    • Susan says:

      I do 100 sit-ups every time I over eat or cheat. I know it doesn’t make the calories go away, it’s all psychological for me 🙂

  4. Daria Kill says:

    Hang on. What the hell is sour cream powdered flavouring? You’re more nuts than the squirrel!

  5. joey says:

    Haha! We’ve all been there. Feelin slimmer? 😛
    As a dental chair PRO, I can tell you the answer to drinks is straws, but it’s a no-go on the chips unless you’re a bibbed sadist. 😉

  6. Christy says:

    Love this, so true!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

LifeEventsObservation

Cause every word matters.

Noble Doubt

a Serial Publication by Rosemary Castevet

The Diary Of A Muslim Girl

Dare ◦ To ◦ Live ◦ Your ◦ Legacy

Mostly Blogging

Practical solutions and established strategies to improve your blog. Suggestions that will make a difference.

Writing Dreamer

words and images by mk swanson

Multiple experienceS

a day in the life with multiple sclerosis

witty -> AyJ

Being Humorous

Embracing Authenticity

"Don't be ashamed of your story it will inspire others!"

deconstructingdoctor.com

a peek behind the curtain

%d bloggers like this: