I’ve never thought I was normal. I don’t believe there is a ‘normal’. But on my recent return trip from NYC (to see my wonderful daughter), I laughed at discovering another quirky thing to add to my arsenal of, uh, what I’ll call kind of crazy thinking.
Here’s the lead in:
I get on the 4:46 JetBlue flight out of La Guardia with only purse and book in hand after graciously turning in my carry-on to “help speed up departure.” Comfortable in my window seat, I become so engrossed with my Strands bookstore purchase, I lose track of time until I hear the overhead announcement.
“Folks, we are sorry for the long wait on the tarmac. On the control panel, one program button isn’t lighting up. We are returning to the gate.”
In my world, all the buttons don’t need to be lit. While I pretend to have wings and fly through the clouds on a plane so big they call it an AirBus, that’s a different story. I want those buttons lit, flashing, and sparkling like the KiraKira App my daughter showed me on her phone.
We roll back to the gate. We don’t get up and squeeze back down the aisle made to only fit runway models. We get this instead:
“Folks, we’re going to keep you on, turn the engines off, allow resetting, and restart.”
What?! That sounds like ‘rebooting’. They are rebooting the plane. My daughter’s last email to me, only an hour ago was ‘If there is anything weird going on or any passengers get weird, get out of there.’ Rebooting a plane. That might fit the bill.
Two passengers walked to the front and disappeared. I dug around the seat pocket in front of me until I found the barf bag. Just wanted it close by – no gurgling in my innards yet.
I pondered Kristen’s advice until they announced overhead the two passengers were Miami bound and connecting flight were located for them.
The roaring rumbling of engines diminishes. Some people stand and stretch.
Over and over again in my head one mantra kept me relatively calm -God has a plan for me. God has a plan for me.
Then it happened, that crazy thing I can laugh about now…I estimated the large amount of trip charges on my VISA and freaked out.
They would be hanging out there if my flight home was to be my last hours on planet earth. It had to be taken care of. I didn’t want my daughter having to forage around my house to find my password and deal with a giant VISA bill (When I see her, we go big. Mama’s worn out nursing feet demand Uber. The kid picks amazing $$$ restaurants for dining.)
I lurched sideways and scrunched up until I could get my hand down to my purse on the floor and retrieved my phone. Recalling old announcements for people to turn off computers until lift off, I tapped fast. I don’t want my cell phone interfering with the plane’s function! Capital One – Yep – okay – not too bad. On to my trusty bank. Account. Pay bill. Confirm amount. Send.
I feel much better already.
The engines start up and we roll back out to try again.
First flight I didn’t fall asleep on.
Don't Curse the Nurse! 
you should experience the thrill of flying on US Air Force Airlines. it’s a wonderful sensation of being in either a large tin can with no windows and flying backwards – or – being in a different tin can sitting in cargo seats flying sideways. you get used to it after a while. 😉
Heck no!
yeh. flying business class is mucher betterer. 🙂
My husband tells about his experience at age 18, flying to the DEW (Distance Early Warning) Line at the top of Canada in early spring. He flew in a hull of a plane and landed on a frozen lake. Three days later the lake had thawed. Did his kidneys and bowels do a double flip when he thought what he did three days earlier? Yup! Then when he had a free day to explore the territory, he got lost… The scare was real but we do have three kids that prove he is still alive.
Oh my goodness!
I worry less about whether the buttons light up than whether they work, but I don’t suppose you know that till you need them….