What was I thinking

I sat, with the screen behind me – the one sometimes used for people that sign in remote for the meeting; the Nursing Programs coordinator on my right.

” Our upcoming December meeting will be short, bring your units End of Year summaries. The rest is more of a holiday lunch for all of us. Then in January Susan will be the group Chair and in charge.”

I looked around the room at critical care, ER, and floor nurses who juggled five to six patients at once for twelve hour days.

Co-chair. Co-chair. Please mention the needed co-chair.

“We will be voting for a Co-chair.”

Whew! I’ll have a sidekick.

I’ve always referred to Pre / Phase II post op nursing as a boutique job. Yes, there are moments of run run run, hurry and wait, and patients with blood sugars of over 400 that make you go ” Insulin order please, right now !” However, on the average, we’re like that Park Avenue shop with an edited assortment of cute clothes for people size 6 to 10 and coordinated accessories. You get what I mean. The critical care and floor nurses have a wider breadth of work responsibilities and unplanned events during their day.

So…

It’s humbling, for me, to be a part of this group.

My understanding of Imposter Syndrome has increased tenfold with the transition of responsibility looming right around the corner.

I avoided eye contact with anyone, not wanting to reveal just how intense my anxiety was.

We’ll see how this goes.

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